When Scott and I first met and we were in a long distance relationship, we used to read books together to feel connected. Some of those books tackled the topic of how to stay connected despite being separated by two thousand miles. You could say that we’re forever students in the game of love! Around 9 years ago, Scott recommended that we read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and it was such an eye opener. We were two star-crossed lovers (really just kids at the time!), but we knew we had something special and we needed to nurture it. Since then, we’ve recommended the book to countless couples and individuals who want to learn more about the ways to give and receive love.
Love Languages List
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Did you know there’s a 6th Love Language? It’s called gelato!
Defining the Love Languages
While you don’t have to “speak” the same language as your partner, you should be able to communicate their language, but first – you have to know what it is!
Quality Time: Quality Time is about spending, you guessed it, quality time together! If your partners love language is Quality Time, then it’s time to put your phone away, get a babysitter for the kids, and devote your undivided attention to your sweetheart. The quality time doesn’t have to be at a fancy dinner or on a vacation (although, those are lovely as well!) It can be as simple as dedicating time to watching your favorite show together at home.
Words of Affirmation: Luckily, this is my love language and also Scott’s love language. We feel the most loved when it’s communicated to us verbally and through writing. If your love language is words of affirmation, you’ll want to give and receive love letters, tell your significant other how much he or she means to you, or receive little notes / emails telling you his or her feelings. If this is your partners love language, try incorporating more verbal affirmations such as, “that dress looks so sexy on you,” “You make me feel so loved when you do….,” or “I love the family that we’ve created together.” These simple but effective phrases will go very far!
Physical Touch: While Physical Touch is an important part of any relationship, it can be the primary love language for many. This doesn’t just mean sex, but Physical Touch comes in all forms – holding hands, kissing, hugging, a light caress when your partner walks by, or a cuddle on the couch.
Acts of Service: If your partners love language is Acts of Service, then they’ll be firm believers that actions speak louder than words. To show your love for your partner, try cooking dinner, taking out the trash, doing the laundry, or taking their car to be washed. These little actions will require time and effort on your part and your partner will definitely feel the love from these acts of service.
Receiving Gifts: If your partner feels loved when they receive gifts, it means that they enjoy the fact that you’ve thought about them enough to pick something special for them. This isn’t materialistic or superficial; it’s a way that your partner feels loved and appreciated. If your partners love language is Receiving Gifts, bringing home flowers, their favorite flavor of ice cream, or a special memento from your business trip will make him or her feel loved.
For example, if your partner speaks “Acts of Service,” they feel loved if you do kind things for your him or her. If your language is “Words of Affirmation,” you feel loved when your partner shares his or her feelings for you verbally / with words. There are quizzes in the book and online that help you identify your love languages and it can completely revolutionize relationships and romance!
No love language is right or wrong, but it’s important (and fun!) to learn how to make your partner feel loved and in turn, learn how you receive love. You all deserve it.
Waw! so romantic. I agree that, the languages are really essential and not so hard. So, we have to learn love languages.